Blog: October 2006

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The Oblivious Factor

What is it these days with the Oblivious Factor? Whether we're driving, shopping or walking down the street, we are so wrapped up in something else other than looking to see if we're blocking someone's way or slowing down traffic, that we pretty much become a nuisance not only to others, but a hazard to ourselves. Just last week I was at our favorite supermarket - Stew Leonard's - for those of you on the east coast, you've probably been to Stew's - the Disneyworld of supermarkets - for others - you're missing a great shopping experience for yourself and the kids...but I digress. So there I was, maneuvering my cart through the circuitous fruit aisle when I wound up in gridlock - or cart-lock to be more precise. Some careless shopper - a man who had abandoned his cart to sample some muffin crumbs, had left me no room to get around him. And so, I had to wait while he savored a scone, until I could move to the next section. On the deli line, the back-up got even worse because tons of people were lined up to place orders and carts were literally strewn willy nilly down the aisle. I narrowly avoided knocking over someone's toddler who had gone AWOL while her mom was ordering some boiled ham and thankfully, moved on without a scratch to meat and dairy. Food, glorious food. Once again, people were off in different directions, sampling chicken apple sausages, Italian meatballs and bratwurst. And their carts? Well, there were two jacknifed by the potato chip rack, three camped out in front of of the dancing cows (my husband was one of those offenders) and four crowded around the dancing Chiquita Banana lady. Thoroughly frustrated, I slipped my hand into the fracas, wrenched out a few low-hanging bananas, called out to my husband to grab the kids - who had now joined a conga line near the Polly-o string cheese and wove my way to the register.

Luckily, there are about 40 cashiers at Stew's so checking out is never a problem - they have that part down to a science. But, we did have to make our way to the parking lot where there was a bottleneck by the propane tanks. End of season refills, I guess. Plus, some lady was standing smack in the middle of the lot yapping away on her cell phone, while another guy was typing some incredibly important message on his Treo that he had to send on a Saturday morning, just as we attempted to guide our overfilled cart to our car.

We finally crammed the groceries into the minivan, strapped the kids into their booster seats and were on our way - well not exactly. We had to contend with some woman fixing her lipstick in her rearview mirror, a teenager attempting to parallel park and that guy with the Treo who was still deep in the throws of some major emergency...or maybe he was just finalizing plans with his buddy to watch football.

And then there was me.

Yes, I admit it, I am oblivious too. While my husband was asking me a question about our next destination, I was busy scanning email messages on my BlackBerry, handing the kids two juice boxes, while reaching to make a call on my cell phone. He quickly gave me that, you better pay attention to me look or else, and I promptly placed all my technical gadgetry away in my purse and told him to head to the dry cleaners.

I've come to the conclusion that these days, for better or worse, we're all completely oblivious. But before you smack into the car in front of you, or hold up a line of shopping carts, or send a text message while crossing a busy street, or piss off your spouse, take a look around - the undercover mom may be right behind you and she's taking copious notes!

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Posted in: Blog, Undercover Mom on 10/31/2006

A Rude Awakening by Joanne Rendell

Our apartment doesn?t have any proper walls. Okay, okay, it does have four proper walls that encase it. Inside, however, the walls between the rooms are fake. Not only are they paper thin, but a foot below the ceiling they stop. Yes, our walls have gaping holes in them.

These ?cut-outs,? as they are known in the trade, are the price we pay for living in a NY loft with one ? admittedly very large ? window. In order to get a little natural light into our cavernous back bedroom, the cut-outs are essential.

However, what they do for light, the cut-outs also do for sound. All those big holes mean that every breath, every sneeze, every dropped coffee cup (and the whispered ?F**k? that follows), can be heard through the entire household. This, as you can imagine, is not ideal when you have a three-year old in the house. Especially when that three year old?s sleep is the lifeline of his laptop-naptime mama and her writing career.

I?ve learnt to live with the cut-outs, however. When Benny is napping (or sleeping late in the morning) and I am trying to write, I do everything to minimize noise traversing the cut-outs. The answer machine is set on low, the speakers on my laptop off, and the window closed so the wails of passing fire trucks are just a mute ?wah-wahs.? Many a time, I have found myself making important phone calls sitting on the toilet (thankfully, our bathroom has proper walls) and, on one or two occasions, I have conducted meetings in the hallway outside the apartment.

But, something happened today which has made me realize that my noise reducing schemes might have been a little over-the-top. In fact, it revealed them to be completely bloody unnecessary.

The fire alarm went off at six o?clock this morning. Our apartment is in a student dorm so, as Brad and I woke up, squinting our groggy eyes under the alarm?s strobe light and holding our ears against the monotonous, deafening din, we assumed the alarm must have been set off by some partying freshmen. However, through the alarm?s wails, we heard the fire trucks arriving and realized the horrible truth: we were going to drag ourselves out of bed, clamber four flights downstairs, and go stand outside with three hundred pajama-ed students.

As we contemplated this and zipped around finding coats, shoes, hats, and mittens, we finally noticed that Benny ? despite the howling alarm and strobing lights ? hadn?t moved a muscle. He was deeply and soundly and peacefully asleep. It was only when I heaved him into my arms that his long eyelashes finally fluttered open and he said, confused by all the commotion, ?What?sat??

There was no fire, thankfully. And, in the end, lugging ourselves and a tired three year old outside wasn?t so bad. Benny got to see four truckloads of firefighters and, in the back of a warm minivan, we got to hang out with all the other people in the building who have kids.

And, let?s face it, I?m now a wiser laptop-naptime mama. From now on, when Benny?s sleeping, if I want to talk on the phone or listen to banging rap music or blend smoothies or shout ?SH*T? when I accidentally delete an important sentence, I can go right ahead and do it.

For more of Joanne Rendell's mommy blogs - including "Fishing for Poo," "Should Mommy's Wear Thongs?" and "What's that dangly thing between his legs?" then Click Here to visit her at the popular website, Get Crafty. To return to the Role Mommy home page, Click Here.

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Posted in: Blog, Laptop Naptime Mama on 10/31/2006

DIVALYSSCIOUS MOMS FOUNDER LYSS STERN

Manhattan mom Lyss Stern is passionate about two things - her family and her committment to bringing out the inner diva of today's busy moms. Lyss is founder and CEO of Divalysscious Moms, a company that produces high-end events for moms and their families in New York City. From FAO Schwartz to Dylan's Candy Bar to Bloomingdales to Madison Avenue, Lyss is always on the lookout for innovative ways to help moms find rejuvenation while entertaining their kids in the process.

Lyss says she came up with the concept for Divalysscious Moms three years ago after giving birth to her son Jackson. After feeling completely overwhelmed at the prospect of new motherhood, Lyss says she was incredibly depressed after putting on a tremendous amount of weight and did not have any time to take care of herself. She knew that somehow, she had to take action. It started out small - a gym workout here, a manicure there, and suddenly, the wheels started turning. What if she were able to create a company that offered moms the opportunity to be pampered while their kids enjoyed themselves too? From there, Divalysscious Moms was born.

Lyss says she plans approximately 3-4 events per month that are usually built around a monthly theme. For October, there are several Halloween offerings from family disco to costume parties to a candy extravaganza at Dylan's. Offering blockbuster events with sponsors like Cookie Magazine, Lexus, Broadway Babies and Bloomingdales, among many others, Lyss has also created shopping extravaganzas with free babysitting services, a block party on Madison Avenue, plus a private holiday gift party at FAO Schwartz sponsored by Cookie Magazine.

With over 7500 moms on the Divalysscious Moms mailing list, the company has just branched out to Long Island and will start producing events in time for Halloween. Also on the way is a high end jewelry line for kids and moms that are sure to catch on like wildfire.

Divalysscious Moms has also played an active role in raising money and awareness for important causes affecting families. When singer Dan Zanes performed a special concert at a Divalysscious Moms event, they were able to raise $10,000 on behalf of the Tsunami Relief Effort. Divalysscious Moms on Madison event this summer also raised funds for Baby Buggy, a non-profit organization founded by Jessica Seinfeld which focuses on collecting gently used and new baby gear and clothing for infants and toddlers.

Over the next few years, Lyss plans to roll out her brand of high end Diva-tainment to moms in major cities across the country. "Every mom deserves to be a Divalysscious Mom," she says. And with Lyss Stern leading the charge, we can all get the chance to be pampered for a change!

For more information about Divalysscious Moms, CLICK HERE or to return to the Role Mommy home page, CLICK HERE.

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Posted in: Blog, Moms of Reinvention on 10/28/2006

SNACKING ON THE RUN...WITH NUTRITIONIST KERI GLASSMAN

Have you found yourself reaching for your son's bag of cheetos lately because you haven't had time to pick something up for yourself? Well step away from the pantry and start reaching for some healthy food! We know it's not easy...trust me, I'm having a chocolate craving right about now, but nutritionist, author and entrepreneur Keri Glassman, founder of KKG Body Fuel and KeriBar, offers Role Mommy readers her tried and true tips that will save yourself from sabotage when you're snacking on the run:

Tips for Busy, On-The-Go Moms: 1) Starbucks made over! Make your Starbucks stop into a healthy meal: grab a skim latte, a yogurt (instead of the scone!) and add the nuts you have in your bag (pack about 10 almonds in Ziploc snack size bags). 2) Salad Boost! Give your quick grab and go salad a boost?you?ll need the energy later in the day and who wants to be starving when juggling the kids at 4:00 pm? Make sure to have a good source of protein (tuna, turkey, tofu or beans) and don?t forget you need the healthy fat (flaxseeds, sunflower seeds, avocado, olive oil or walnuts) to keep you satiated and don?t forget the fiber from added vegetables such as broccoli, cauliflower even artichoke hearts. 3) Ice cream run! Instead of grabbing ice cream with your kids?bring a drinkable yogurt (Dannon Light and Fit or Stonyfield are good options) with you and enjoy this calcium rich snack on its own or pour over a cup of ice for a delicious almost-as-good-as ice cream treat! 4) Carpool/pick up munchies! When you are sitting waiting for school to let out or ballet class to end and your stomach is growling you better be prepared! Always store small bag of soy chips in your car or a bar in your baby bag/pocket book. 5) Breakfast glitch! Instead of grabbing a big bagel and cream cheese with your kids or being a ?saint? and getting the fat free (billion calorie!) muffin ask for a whole wheat bagel scooped out with a smear of peanut butter. Eat half and save the rest for later! Healthy Snacks for Kids: 1) Apple fries! Take an apple and slice into tiny stick like pieces?it?s fun for the kids to eat and healthy too! 2) Bananas dressed up! Cut a banana up in pieces and dip in natural peanut butter. 3) Crackers with a flare! Take a few whole wheat crackers and put a piece of cheese in the middle?and make mini sandwiches! 4) Peas with a snap! Grab a handful of sugar snap peas and let your child dip them in a yogurt dip or homemade ranch dressing. 5) Hummus boats! Take a few celery stalks and cut in medium size pieces, fill with hummus and enjoy!

To find out more about Keri Glassman, M.S., R.D. Click Here to read her Mom of Reinvention profile at Role Mommy.

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Posted in: Blog, Role Mommy Recommends on 10/25/2006

SHOPPING ON THE FLY

I think I have an addiction. It's not chocolate, alcohol or crack for that matter. It's much more dangerous. It involves Visa, Mastercard and my Ann Taylor Loft card. Yes, I am a drive by shopper. Actually, it's more like a walk-by but nevertheless, if I pass a store with a great outfit in the window, or if I'm wearing a pair of boots that are in desperate need of repair, I don't run to the nearest blacksmith...I bolt to the closest shoe store. Just the other day I was wearing a smashing chocolate brown skirt and sweater set that I had picked up at Loft but I had a major fashion dilemma. The outfit looked great - but the shoes - atrocious. I hopped on the train that morning and knew that before I set foot in my office that my credit card would find it's way into the hands of a very happy store clerk. I strategically mapped out my plan by giving myself six shoe store shopping choices on the way to my building. Lucky for me, by the third walk-by, I had hit the jackpot. Chocolate brown suede boots that were wide enough to go around my larger than life calves. I proudly whipped out my credit card...saw the magical approved symbol flash, told the girl to hide away my hideous old shoes and I proudly walked out of the store with my new purchase guiding the way. But it didn't stop with the boots. My addiction also hit me at lunch too. Especially since Loft was flashing that enticing 75% sale sign in the window. I already bought three outfits yesterday but noticed in one of their windows a really cute sweater and belt combo that I thought would look absolutely fabu on me. And mom just gave me a $100 gift card for my birthday. Looks like the magnetic pull from Loft would draw me in again at noon. Luckily by 5:30 pm, I had to hit the train so I couldn't race in for one last look...unless of course I left a few minutes early so I could scoop up that pair of earrings I noticed earlier today that perfectly matched my newly purchased sweater/belt combo. It's not like I'm a gambler or anything. I just love to purchase things on the fly and since Ann Taylor Loft is on nearly every Manhattan street corner, they happen to get first crack at my wallet. Some say that my addiction could be much worse. I could have a Jimmy Choo fixation or a Gucci fetish but I'm way more sensible when it comes to my walk-bys. If the price tag screams "two weeks salary" then they're not getting my sale. In the interest of time, proximity and price, I keep my walk-bys simple and expeditious. And lucky for Ann Taylor Loft, they have me at "Hello, may I help you?"

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Posted in: Blog, Role Mommy Confessions on 10/24/2006

CAN I GO BACK INSIDE?

Melissa is having a meaningful conversation with her wide-eyed three-year-old who has just asked her where she came from. Melissa explains that she grew inside her belly for nine months. "But how did I come out of your belly?" she asks. Melissa continues to share the story of her birth by explaining that she couldn't come out the normal way (from between Mommy's legs) so the doctors "reached in and took you out of my belly." Enthralled by the prospect of going on a ride inside her mom's body, her daughter points to Melissa's stomach and exclaims, "Can I go back inside? I want to do it again!"

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Posted in: Blog, Kiddy Commentary on 10/24/2006

KERI GLASSMAN

NUTRITIONIST WITH AN EYE ON BUSY FAMILIES, LAUNCHES SUCCESSFUL

SNACK BAR COMPANY

Even before she became a mother, Keri Glassman decided to pursue a career as a nutritionist because she knew the profession would lend itself well to raising a family.

After initially working for a successful online nutrition company, Keri decided to strike out on her own and open a private practice. As she built up her client base, Keri realized that the most difficult part to watching your weight was having the right snack choices. While there were tons of nutritional bars on the market to carb cravings, Keri says she never came across a snack bar that she truly loved. And so, she took matters into her own hands.

With the help of her sister-in-law, who opened up her kitchen and flexed her baking muscles, Keri created the KeriBar - the ultimate snack that not only tasted great, but helped promote weight loss in conjunction with a healthy diet. As her bars began tantalizing the tastebuds of her clients, this enterprising entrepreneur set out on a course to transform her creation into a nationwide success.

While her sister-in-law did a valiant job whipping up the first batch of KeriBars, Keri moved into the next phase of her business by working with a food scientist who tweaked the recipe and created more flavors to broaden the selection - providing the bars with nutrients that help keep you full so you can make better eating decisions at your next meal. With three delicious KeriBars, she was ready to sell her snack bar to consumers. Keri then partnered with her brother, who runs a major New York based marketing company that developed the website for KeriBar, logos and packaging, and together, they hit the ground running.

Since February 2006, over 200,000 KeriBars have been sold in a host of stores including Mrs. Greens, Bed Bath & Beyond, Liz Lange, Energy Kitchen, Exhale, major airports and several health food stores throughout New York. And, after taking part in her first trade show, Keri recently partnered with a distributor that will be taking KeriBar nationwide. Plus, in the next two months, there will be a new delicious product available especially for families - KeriBar for kids!

As if a snack bar company and her private practice weren't enough, in Spring 2007, Crown Books will be releasing Keri's first book, The Snack Factor Diet - which offers Keri's tried and true advice on how snacks can help promote weight loss. Plus, Keri is frequently called upon by major media outlets to offer advice on healthy eating habits for families.

In the meantime, Keri, who continues to oversee a thriving nutrition practice, is the mom of two beautiful children, ages three and a half and seven weeks old! While these days, she oftentimes finds herself responding to emails while nursing daughter Maizy and entertaining her son Rex, she says that she's having the time of her life pursuing her passion while being a mom. For Keri Glassman, great health and happiness is truly a family affair.

To find out more about KeriBars, Click Here or visit KKG Body Fuel for more information or for private nutritional counseling.

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Posted in: Blog, Moms of Reinvention on 10/22/2006

CHRISTIE MELLOR

AUTHOR, ACTRESS, ARTIST AND MOM

If passion were a sport, then Christie Mellor can write the playbook. This actress, author, and artist proves that you can raise a family and do what you love and maybe even profit from your life experience. I first came across this talented writer when I picked up a copy of THE THREE-MARTINI PLAYDATE - an irreverent look at the way kids should be raised today. I still remember some of the hilarious scenarios Christie painted for her readers in which she offered up great suggestions on how to get your kids to do more work around the house. Christie's laugh out loud book, is one of the highest ranked parenting books on Amazon and she says, it's not because she had a huge promotional campaign behind her, the success of her book was spread by word of mouth.

Even more inspiring was the way Christie managed to land a publishing deal without the help of an agent. Christie says after sending her manuscript to a friend who worked at Chronicle Books, he offered to put it on the desk of one of the editors there. As fate and good taste would have it, the editor instantly took a liking to Christie's writing and offered her a book deal. From there, THE THREE-MARTINI PLAYDATE was born and Christie, became a first-time author. Following the success of the book, Christie decided to pitch a few ideas that showcased her talents as an illustrator, but unfortunately, they weren't received as strongly as her first. And so, she set out on a search for the perfect literary agent who would share her passion for both writing and illustration - incidentally, Christie illustrates all of her books.

After several meetings, Christie finally did find an amazing agent who not only sewed up a second book deal with Chronicle for Christie's sequel to The Three-Martini Playdate, aptly titled, Three-Martini Vacation, but she also sold her two additional book pitches - one a non-fiction guide for twentysomethings and another, an illustrated book for adults, to powerhouse publishing house Harper Collins.

If you thought becoming a best-selling author and mom were enough to keep things interesting for Christie, well think again. Before she began typing away on her first manuscript, Christie pursued a career as an actress. Today, she can be seen in dozens of commercials and heard on the airwaves through her voiceover work. Christie says her roles these days are not much of a stretch - she usually plays the foolish mom who bought a really bad cleaning product; the ticket taker in an American Airlines commercial; or the memorable role of a mom driving a minivan - hmmm...I think we can all relate to that one!

In her down time...as if she has any - Christie is mom to two sons, ages 14 and 9, who obviously have provided her with plenty of fodder for her entertaining books. THREE-MARTINI VACATION will be released by Chronicle Books in Spring 2007. In the meantime, if you haven't read The Three-Martini Playdate yet, then CLICK HERE so you can make a purchase you'll be raving about for years to come! To find out more about Christie Mellor, visit her website at www.christiemellor.com

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Posted in: Blog, Moms of Reinvention on 10/18/2006

YouTube, Herbal Tea, and a Whole Lot of Procrastination

A Laptop Naptime Mama by Joanne Rendell

11:30 am - I've done it.

I am now officially a "suck-it-up-and-pay-for-a-babystitter-and-take-my-laptop-to-a-coffee-shop? mama. With some writing deadlines looming, I decided that naptimes were just not enough anymore. Plus, trying to put Benny down for a nap three hours after he?d just got up ? so I could finish a chapter or work on a book review ? did seem a little cruel.

So far, my new mama-status is proving to be pretty damn fun. Just half an hour ago, I left Benny with lovely Emily the babysitter who not only wears the coolest vintage outfits, but who also brought along a ?My Little Pony? special edition DVD boxset. Spying the shimmering rainbows and pale pink and green ponies on the cover, Benny took Emily?s hand and practically booted me out the door. Gone are the days when he would wail like an abandoned pup if I so much as disappeared behind a doorframe.

So now I?m happily ensconced at the coffee shop in a nearby bookstore. Okay, so I could have got here a little earlier but en route I had to swing through Brooklyn Industries (my favorite store) and paw over, try on, and contemplate buying a number of their new hoodies. I managed to drag myself away without opening my wallet, however, and now here I am, raring to go. My laptop is open and glowing, happy to be out of the house again. I?m stretching my back, limbering my fingers, and the sweet coffee shop aroma is firing my writing neurons. I have a delicious, Benny-free, two hours stretching before me.

Okay, so here I go?.Oooh, wait a minute, here comes the waiter guy. And fancy that? He?s wearing the same ?This is What a Feminist Looks Like? t-shirt which I just bought for Benny?

11.51 am ? What a nice guy. Not only does he have that great t-shirt, he was also kind enough to explain all the different kinds of tea options on the menu and even brought me a taster of the Rooibos Lemon Chiffon tea. Of course, I didn?t like it and had to explain to him that, even though I like the sound of all these herbal teas with their pretty triple-barreled names, I?m just too British to actually like them. ?Black tea with lots of caffeine and a dash of milk ? it?s the only way,? I explained. This, of course, started a long discussion about my mother country and it turns out the waiter?s aunt lives in London and feels the exact same way about tea. ?Herbal Schmerbal, she calls it,? he told me with a laugh.

But now my lovely waiter is off tending to someone else. So, after taking a long sip of my black tea, I place my fingertips on the keypad and?. Well, look at that?! I just caught a glimpse of a sign which says this coffee shop has WiFi. I didn?t know that. Okay, so I know the whole point of coming here was to have an intensive writing session where I couldn?t check my emails and watch ridiculous videos on YouTube whenever I get stuck on a word or a sentence. But, I suppose I could just see if the connection works?.

12.34 pm ? Hmmm. I didn?t mean to spend all that time online. But my friend sent me that interesting Salon article about Hillary Clinton and then I had to check a couple of my favorite blogs. Oh, and I just had to google that old school friend who I had a really weird dream about last night. I didn?t find her, but I did find this crazy site for people buying and selling horses. You should see the little videos they make to advertise their animals. Billowing manes, ponies in bows, cantoring in the sunset. It?s like horsie porn.

Enough, enough. I only have an hour left. I need to concentrate. And I really will concentrate just as soon as I get back from the bathroom?

1.10 pm ? They must have done that on purpose. Placing the bathroom on the other side of the store, so you have to pass by every best seller table and interesting New York fiction stand, before you get there. I couldn?t help stopping and browsing. I mean, how often do I get to be in a bookstore without a three year old pleading for ?The Little Engine that Could? at the top of his lungs? And, you know what? Perhaps I shouldn?t feel bad. Looking at new books is research, after all. Especially for a serious, dedicated writer like myself. You have to know what?s on the market, who?s publishing what, who thanking who in their acknowledgments. It?s a vital part of the job.

I?ve got twenty minutes left. If I get my head down, maybe I can churn out a couple of hundred words?.ah, but is that my stomach grumbling?

1.30 pm. Time to go. I have written a grand total of 10 words. This means, at ten bucks an hour for 2.5 hours babysitting, I?ve paid $2.50 for each word I?ve written. Seems kind of pricey to me. I?m going to be penniless by the time I finish my 100,000 word novel.

Oh well, that toasted bagel with lashings of cream cheese tasted so good, perhaps it was all worth it. And next time, I promise I will be different. I will be writing powerhouse. Not a t-shirt, tea, or toasted bagel will distract me.

Perhaps?

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Posted in: Blog, Laptop Naptime Mama on 10/17/2006

THE FACTORY

This weekend my daughter was in question mode. While eating a hamburger she inspected it, and then asked? "Mommy, where do burgers come from?" "That's easy, from a cow," I respond. Then we were out apple picking and following our 45 minute walk through the orchards where we picked some pretty lame fruit because the crowds had beaten us to the great produce, my daughter asked: "Mommy, which came first, the apple or the apple tree?" You try to answer that one...it's kind of hard to figure out. Then, following our apple picking extravaganza, we headed to a diner, where my daughter, who was enjoying her spaghetti slathered in butter sauce, peered over at my son's hot dog and asks me her inquisitive question of the day: "Mommy, where do frankfurters come from?" I give her a look, figuring she already knew the answer and reply, "Come on, it's the same place that hamburgers come from." "A factory?" Technically yes, but jeez, whatever happened to easy questions anyway!

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Posted in: Blog, Kiddy Commentary on 10/16/2006

Older Entries

10/13/2006: CROTCH CONUNDRUM

10/12/2006: PANDEMONIUM AT THE PEDIATRICIAN

10/10/2006: ARIANNA HUFFINGTON

10/06/2006: SAVE THE DATE!!! NOVEMBER 16TH AT CMOM

10/06/2006: BE KIND...REWIND!

10/04/2006: THE LINE

10/04/2006: Bitchfest...Review by Joanne Rendell

10/02/2006: The Dishwasher

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