November 2006 | Advice for Busy Moms | Rolemommy
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November 2006

MOTHERS OF REINVENTION

Back Row: Role Mommy Co-Founder, Yvette Corporon; WCBS-TV Anchor Cindy Hsu, Role Mommy Co-Founder Beth Feldman
One Life to Live Star Kassie DePaiva; author Terry Hekker; Design-her Gals Founder, Jeanne Fitzmaurice; Executive Director of AOL Coaches, Jennie Baird
For those of you who weren't able to attend our most recent event at the Children's Museum of Manhattan, on Thursday, November 16, we've got a fantastic web gallery shot exclusively for Role Mommy by talented photographer and mom Susanna Martin. Our panelists shared their amazing stories and in the coming weeks, we'll be posting our latest "Playdate" session online too!
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Posted in: Events on 11/29/2006

Benny the Cosmopolitan Genius


Benny is not the brightest bulb in the palace chandelier. At least not according to conventional ideas about what constitutes a bright kid. For example, where other three year olds can count out a hundred cheerios from the Cheerio box, Benny?s grasp on numbers goes something like this: ?1..2..3..7..8..14..15.? Similarly, when I find his little red toy car that?s been missing for a week under the sofa (and probably covered in dust bunnies and six month old, squished-up raisins) and say, ?Here?s your red car,? Benny cries out with an empathic gasp, ?NO, dat?s the blue car.? Oh, and getting him to distinguish between a circle and a square? Forget it. Benny lives in a land of circles. Every shape, whether it has straight side, curved edges, or 90 degree angles, is a circle.

Perhaps I should be enrolling him in a fast-track, special ed, one-on-one, intensive developmental leap-frog, gifted-but-unaware-of-it, program. But, you know what? I don?t give a hoot about his grasp on numbers, shapes, and colors. Because I know my boy is a genius. And not an ordinary kind of genius. Benny is an A-grade, valedictorian, summa cum laude, ?Cosmopolitan Genius.? ?Cosmopolitan Genius?? I hear you shout. I know, I know, you may not have heard of such a thing. But, I?m telling you, my son is one ? and a pretty impressive one at that.

Instead of spending our time doing ?what?s this shape?? drills with Benny, Brad and I have exerted our energies elsewhere. We?ve been encouraging him to become the perfect little New York City companion. Almost a second after he was born, we swooped him up into the Baby Bjorn and took him out to bars, restaurants, gallery openings, book readings, and cinemas. We kept at it even through those difficult toddler months where he?d run headlong everywhere and put any unidentifiable object into his mouth (although, we always stayed near the door for quick getaways and chose venues with music loud enough to drown out any toddler hysterics).

And now, it seems our efforts are paying off.

Although he?s just turned three, Benny is a class-act when it comes to frequenting the bars, restaurants, even art house cinemas in the city. If we go to our favorite Mexican restaurant, he sits happily at the table playing with his toy giraffe and zebra. When we attend readings at the local bookstore, he sits on our laps leafing through books borrowed from the kids section. And the other night, when we took him to Almodovar?s new movie, he sat quietly chomping on Goldfish snacks through the entire two-hour subtitled film.

But, of course, such genius comes with its downsides. Like Einstein and other geniuses before him, Benny has had to face his skeptics, doubters, and naysayers. He?s had to endure the tsk-tsks from fellow moviegoers, when he?s getting seated at the theater. He?s weathered scornful, bespectacled glances when he?s showed up at readings. And last night, for the first time, Benny found himself barred.

While waiting for a table at a restaurant we?d never been to before, Brad and I decided to order drinks at the bar. As we always do, we schlepped Benny onto a barstool and handed him giraffe and zebra. Benny sat happily playing, while Brad and I discussed whether to go frozen or on the rocks with our margaritas. Just as we settled on frozen, the barman emerged, face like thunder, and instructed us that Benny must be taken away from the bar...immediately. Brad and I exchanged worried glances and looked down at Benny. But there he sat, doing nothing untoward, sucking on the straw in his water and talking quietly to his animals. I looked back up at the barman and politely asked, ?Er, why??

?Because a bar is no place for a child,? he barked, ?There?s too much drinking and cussing.?

I had to stifle a little smile (because I love the word ?cussing?) and I was just about to point out that if ?drinking and cussing? were not good for kids, then perhaps Benny shouldn?t come home with us ? because in our home cussing and drinking have definitely been known to happen.

However, the bartender shot me a steely gaze and I was immediately silence. ?And it?s against the law,? he barked.

At this point, I realized trying to sweet talk the barrel-chested, surly bartender into overlooking a law or two wasn?t going to work. And so we removed Benny from the bar and retreated out of the restaurant (we know, after all, when we?re not wanted). Benny trailed behind us, forlorn and bemused, clutching his toys to his chest, and narrowly avoiding plates of hot food whisking past his head.

It's tough to be a genius sometimes. But, perhaps one day Benny will take heart that he helped forge the way. And perhaps one day those tsk-tsks, withering stares, and silly laws will be a thing of the past. Three year olds will be free to bar-hop and movie-go whenever and wherever they please!

For more of Joanne Rendell's mommy blogs - including "Fishing for Poo," "Should Mommy's Wear Thongs?" and "What's that dangly thing between his legs?" then Click Here to visit her at the popular website, Get Crafty. To return to the Role Mommy home page, Click Here.

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Posted in: Blog, Laptop Naptime Mama on 11/26/2006

NOBODY HOME...

I have never felt so horrible in all of my life. As if I didn?t have enough to feel guilty about?kids, work, husband, ?you can now add friends to that list.
So, in an effort to see my friends, to carve out more time with them and make sure they know that even though I don?t see them very often, they are so dear to me, I decided to throw a party. I called all of my friends, the old ones, new ones, long lost ones and even a few acquaintances who I always wanted to elevate to friend status but never found the time to cultivate the relationship. I called them all.
Come..eat, drink, be merry, make friends with my friends, spend time together?know how much your friendship means to me. Sounds great, right? Well it was great ? everyone RSVP?d, everyone was coming and everyone was psyched about seeing each other. And then, it happened. My husband was called out of town on business and I had to cancel our big friend fiesta. I went down the list, called everyone I needed to, or so I thought. I missed one. I forgot to call a very lovely old childhood friend who I never ever see anymore.
So, the day arrives, now since I?m no longer hosting a party, I high tail out of town and take my children to visit another old friend that we never see. I arrived back home that night, walked in the door, checked my answering machine and instantly felt the blood drain from my face. Oops ? oh shit. Seems my forgotten friend packed up her husband and two children and drove 30 minutes expecting a party but found a locked up empty house instead.
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Posted in: Blog, Role Mommy Confessions on 11/25/2006

Tennis Anyone?

On a recent work at home day I decided to take a creative lunch break. Rather than run out to my local salad shop, I decided to infiltrate a place I had been trying to break back into since I was a senior in high school. After much procrastination, I finally did it. I called up the New Rochelle Racquet Club and asked if I could sub in one of their tennis leagues.
You see, back in the day - the day being 1986, I was quite the tennis player. I was on my high school tennis team and played competitively - even winning some major competitions in New York City. But then, like a long lost friend who moves to another town, my tennis racquet was put away in a closet and wasn't heard from again until my recent visit to the neighborhood tennis club.
At first, it seemed harmless enough. Half of the women were retirees, the other stay at home moms and the third contingent - the subs, seemed to be the ones with one foot in and one foot out. They probably worked but still need a good tennis fix every now and again. I chatted up the woman who ran the league and explained that I used to be pretty good but hadn't played in a while. She re-assured me that tennis is like riding a bike. I'd pick it back up in no time. She decided to place me in a group with older players (rather than the stay at home mom clique who probably would have ridiculed me afterwards) and off I went.
The first faux pas I made during my infiltration of the league was that I wasn't wearing any tennis whites. Worse yet, I had put on the only pair of trendy sweat pants I could find but it didn't have pockets. And so, every time I stuck a ball down my pants, I had to wedge it into the side of my underwear so that it wouldn't fall down my leg while I was playing...I know - a lovely image - I never said the truth was pretty.
And then we started to hit. Usually, when you play tennis, you use one ball at a time to practice. Not the ladies on this court. They insisted on playing with two balls at the same time - which completely through me off since I didn't have control of my racquet yet, so every time the woman directly across the way hit a ball to me, I smacked it to her partner who was busy hitting a separate ball to the player next to me.
Practice time ended pretty quickly and we moved on to game play. Gulp. During the first set, I was pretty pathetic. The balls came at me and I tried to smack them back across and they either landed directly into the net or out of bounce. When I was up at the net, I was either too close or too far from the net to put the ball away and show those old biddies who was boss. We of course, lost the first few games, until I got my rhythm back and then it was time for me to serve.
My serve, thankfully is the best thing about my game...when I'm playing well. Since these women pretty much thought I sucked, they were completely blown away when I shot back a few aces during my round. After one nice slice that was complimented by one of the players, I remarked, "that was vintage 1986" - harkening back to my glory days when I was at the top of my game. All I got back from that woman was a blank stare - she must have thought I was a total freak. Lovely.
After having some good moments on the court and many more bad ones, I came away losing one set, winning one and was in the process of cruising through the third (primarily because my partner was pretty damn good) when the ladies decided to call it quits...it was probably time for canasta. As for me, I put my tennis racquet back in its holder, rubbed my shoulder, which was now pretty sore since those muscles hadn't been used in a while and headed back to my home office to get back to work.
While I thought infiltrating the ladies tennis league would be great fun, I realized that these days, I'm a little over my head and in desperate need of practice. Maybe I should just grab some court time with some people I know and feel comfortable with. Because when you play with die-hard tennis league retirees, they have no interest in how good you used to be.
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Posted in: Blog, Undercover Mom on 11/25/2006

Mommy, Take a Look at This...

I'm busy typing away on my computer while my four-year-old son calls out to me from the den. "Mommy, you have to come see this!" "What is it?" I call out to him. "Come see my penis!" He screams. I think to myself, oh this can't be good. I climb up the steps and ask him what the problem is. "Look, mommy - my penis keeps wiggling and jiggling." Completely flustered, I haven't the faintest idea how to respond to this comment, so I just tell him to take his hand away from his wee wee and it'll stop doing parlor tricks for him. "But Mommy, I don't want to!" he shouts. "Look, it's really hard Mommy." At this point, I am completely flushed, have no clue how to tell him that he needs to revisit himself in another decade or so, give or take a few years and so I just say, "Just wait until Daddy comes home - his does tricks too."
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Posted in: Blog, Kiddy Commentary on 11/19/2006

BUY OUR NEW BOOK...Peeing in Peace!!!

Are you a multi tasking mom pulled in a million directions by your precocious kids, demanding boss and starved for attention spouse? Do you find the only time you are able to steal a moment to yourself is when you?re behind the doors of a bathroom stall? Then you are in desperate need of a play-date with Peeing in Peace.
Between the pages of this book you?ll find your community, confidantes and co-conspirators. Packed with hilarious stories and side splitting parenting tips, we?ll help you navigate the choppy waters of work, home and everywhere in between.Whether you?re a working mom practicing the daily juggle, expectant mom wondering what your new life will be like, or stay at home mom who?s thinking of one day dusting off those old business suits and jumping back into the game, this is the only humorous how-to you?ll ever need.Who else but two successful time-strapped busy working moms can offer a brutally honest yet beautifully inspiring glimpse of what it?s really like to be a modern day working mother.
So grab a latte, enjoy the quiet and dive in.
Click Here to place your pre-order on Amazon...trust us, you won't be disappointed! For more information about the book, visit our Peeing in Peace blog.
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Posted in: Blog, Role Mommy Confessions on 11/19/2006

SWIFFER HOME MAKEOVER SWEEPSTAKES!

The holidays motivate all of us to get our homes in the best of shape. And that inspires many of us to make some home improvements. If there are some changes you'd like to make to your home, enter the Swiffer® Holiday Home Tour Sweepstakes. You could find yourself the lucky winner of $3,500 to apply toward a home makeover. It's a gift that you'll enjoy for many years to come. You'll also be registered to win one of 25 Swiffer WetJets and one of six weekly prizes, a collection of Swiffer family products. This could be your most memorable holiday ever!
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Posted in: Blog, Role Mommy Recommends on 11/17/2006

PRESENTING OUR NEW BOOK!

Are you a multi-tasking mom pulled in a million directions by your precocious kids, demanding boss and starved for attention spouse? Do you find the only time you are able to steal a moment to yourself is when you?re behind the doors of a bathroom stall? Then you are in desperate need of a play-date with Peeing in Peace.

Between the pages of this book you?ll find your community, confidantes and co-conspirators. Packed with hilarious stories and side splitting parenting tips, we?ll help you navigate the choppy waters of work, home and everywhere in between.

Whether you?re a working mom practicing the daily juggle, expectant mom wondering what your new life will be like, or stay at home mom who?s thinking of one day dusting off those old business suits and jumping back into the game, this is the only humorous how-to you?ll ever need.

Who else but two successful time-strapped busy working moms can offer a brutally honest yet beautifully inspiring glimpse of what it?s really like to be a modern day working mother.

So grab a latte, enjoy the quiet and dive in.
For a special sneak peak excerpt from our book, Click Here to read Potty Mouth Training!

If you're ready to buy a book for yourself, a friend, a family member or a new mom in need of a pick me up, then Click Here to order today at Design-her Gals or Click Here to place your pre-order on Amazon (and keep our rankings going strong!)...trust us, you won't be disappointed!

ABOUT THE AUTHORS..

By day, Yvette Manessis Corporon and Beth Feldman are two successful television industry executives. Beth is Vice President of the CBS Communications Group where she spearheads publicity campaigns on behalf of the Network?s marketing, consumer products and entertainment divisions. Yvette is an Emmy award winning journalist who currently writes and produces for the hit syndicated Entertainment News Show, Extra.

But at night, after their children are in bed and the dishwasher loaded, Beth and Yvette are the founders of the Role Mommy lifestyle brand. Through their Role Mommy website, rolemommy.com,
seminars, workshops and merchandise, Beth and Yvette have helped inform and inspire thousands of women who are looking for comfort and camaraderie as they carry on with their busy lives. The website has quickly become a must click virtual coffee klatch for busy moms who are thrilled when they finally realize that contrary to how they feel sometimes, they are certainly not alone.

Since it?s inception in 2005, the Role Mommy movement has spread like wildfire and women everywhere have latched on to Beth and Yvette?s Role Mommy mantra ? Helping your children realize their hopes and dreams doesn?t mean you have to give up on your own.
Beth and Yvette live in Westchester County, New York. They are both married to men who keep them laughing and they each have two children who constantly keep them on their toes.
ABOUT OUR ILLUSTRATOR...DESIGN-HER GALS

Design-her Gals is a fun interactive web-based company which allows women to create their virtual self by selecting skin tone, eye color, hair style & color as well as choosing from hundreds of outfits and accessories and having your ?gal? produced into an assortment of personalized stationery products and other clothing and gift items. The passion and purpose of Design-her Gals is to raise funds and awareness for Stage 4 breast cancer patients, through its non profit sister organization, the Gal to Gal Foundation. A portion of all proceeds from Design-her Gals goes toward this important cause.

$1 from every Peeing in Peace book sold will benefit the Gal to Gal Foundation.

A STEADY STREAM OF PRAISE FOR PEEING IN PEACE?

?For all the working moms who feel like they are about to drop the balls they?ve been juggling (ie all of us!), take heart. Peeing in Peace is filled with humor, compassion, and sage advice. I only wish Beth and Yvette had been around when my daughters were younger. Make time to read this book, even if you have to lock yourself in the bathroom.?
Arianna Huffington, Author of On Becoming Fearless

?Like that euphoric feeling when you walk through the door of your home for the first time, Peeing in Peace welcomes working moms with open arms, awesome advice and pee in your pants moments. A must read for any mom who needs a little boost while trying to juggle business and babies.?
Barbara Corcoran, real estate mogul and author

?From the adorable cover to the laugh out loud chapters to the wonderful charity it's benefiting ? Peeing in Peace had me smiling from start to finish.?

Marg Helgenberger, "CSI" television star and feature film actress

?If you?ve ever soaped up with the shower door open so you can watch the baby at the same time, piled furniture to build a ?demilitarized zone? between your kids, or looked forward to Mondays because your high-powered job is comparatively restful, this is the book for you! Yvette Corporon and Beth Feldman have penned a laugh-out-loud rendition of parenting that will inspire you and give you strength for the next birthday party, middle of the night ER trip, or burping-decorated business suit. Full of wisdom on loving both your work and your kids like crazy.?

Donna Hanover, Host, WOR Radio Morning Show

"After raising my daughter, Lulu, alone and building my business, I know a lot about the crazy and chaotic life of a working mom. Peeing in Peace brought back incredible memories of what it was like to watch my baby and business grow. I love that this book is benefiting the GAL TO GAL foundation. As a breast cancer survivor, I know how important it is that we gals stick together and support each other in the fight against breast cancer."
Betsey Johnson, Designer

Balance is a mistress who often sleeps alone. But learning you?re not alone is worth its weight in comedic gold. Read it, laugh through it and for God?s sake, buy it!
Eva LaRue, ?CSI: Miami? star

Get an autographed copy today by ordering direct with Role Mommy or visit Design-her Gals to order a copy along with adorable custom stationery! We're also available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and it will be in major retail stores in the coming weeks!

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Posted in: Blog, Peeing in Peace on 11/17/2006

Move Over, Thomas the Tank Engine. Come on Down, Little Engine that Could

By Joanne Rendell

Call me a sourpuss, but I?d just like to say? ?Thomas the Tank Engine, take your idiotic, chubby, eyebrow-less face and your inane little stories about you and your boy pals and go jump!?

I know, I?m sorry, a lot of people love Thomas. And even if they don?t care either way, their kids love him so they are happy for the peace and quiet which a clutch of ?Thomas and Friends? DVDs offer. I totally understand. Benny would happily watch Thomas the Tank Engine all day everyday and, if I let him do that, I can only imagine how many blogs I would write, the hoovering I could finally get done, the piles of dirty clothes I could launder. Hell, I could finish a novel or two while Benny sat slack-jawed in front of the darned engine.

But, I?m telling you, Thomas the Tank is a menace. And it?s not because of his lack of eyebrows or the mischievous things he gets up to. No, it?s because behind those plump cheeks, doe eyes, and toot-toot whistle lurks a girl-hating, patriarchal oppressor.

Okay, maybe that?s a little harsh. But, have you ever noticed how ?Thomas and his Friends? should more accurately be called, ?Thomas and his Boy Buddies?? There are a few female engines, it?s true. There?s Emily and, er, who else? Oh, of course, Lady ? who, just in case we couldn?t tell from her pinky-purple coat, has a name that makes it a hundred percent clear she?s a ?lady.? But, two female engines compared to over twenty-five male ones? (yes, I?ve been counting). Please.

And then there?s the matter of the coaches, most of whom are female. Not only are they relegated to this secondary role of being pulled around by the boy engines, but they?re also portrayed as giddy and silly and in need of disciplining. For instance, in the story ?Thomas and the Big, Big Bridge,? our hero (!?) Thomas arrives at a precarious, big, big, bridge. While he and guy-pal Henry thoughtfully consider the dangers of crossing, Annie and Clarbel the coaches cry, ?Hurry, Hurry,? and get ?so excited? that Thomas has ?trouble keeping them in line.? Oh poor Thomas, what a trial it must be for him to keep those naughty girlies in line!

Now, I know what some of you might say. Thomas the Tank Engine was written years ago and their Reverend W. V. Awdry who created him didn?t know any better. However, it?s worth pointing out that the first Thomas the Tank Engine book was published in 1946 ? sixteen years after the Watty Piper version of ?The Little Blue Engine that Could.? Even though ?The Little Blue Engine? portrays cutesy trains with smiling faces, this picture book ? which is a retelling of the 1910 story ?The Pony Tale ? shares little else with Thomas the Tank. Indeed, ?The Little Blue Engine that Could? kicks Thomas? ass!

In case you haven?t read it in a while, I?ll give a you a quick recap. A little engine carrying toys and treats to kids on the other side of the mountain is chugging happily along when all of a sudden *she* breaks down. A big engine, an arrogant engine, and a tired engine ? all of whom are male ? refuse to help. A little blue engine arrives, however, and even though *she* is small and inexperienced, she saves the day. ?I think I can, I think can? goes her famous chant, as she hauls the coaches up and over the mountain.

So, okay, the book might be a little second-wave feminist for many people ? i.e. girls are best, boys suck. But, when Thomas the Tank Engine and all the other boy-club stories (think ?Cars? and ?Bob the Builder,? to name just two) still rule the airwaves and dominate the shelves or Barnes and Noble, I think ?The Little Engine that Could? and its celebration of girl power is very much needed!

Puff, puff, puff, chug, chug, chug. Ding, dong, ding, dong! Little Blue Engine, you rock!
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Posted in: Blog, Laptop Naptime Mama on 11/11/2006

Why Bother

After enduring a pretty hectic week where I wound up having an experience that I'd pretty much like to completely forget, I received some words of wisdom from none other than "Sponge Bob." Since my kids watch it every morning as I get ready to work - I also listen to the show with half an ear because I always find that Sponge Bob has a great zinger that's sure to put a smile on my face. Well, today he totally made my morning. I was busy re-living the events of the previous day in my head and was totally in a bad mood when Sponge Bob turned to his friend and said "Patrick, why don't we just call ourselves Why and Bother?" Exactly what I was thinking! Nothing like a kids cartoon to give you a little perspective on life.
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Posted in: Blog, Role Mommy Confessions on 11/11/2006

Older Entries

11/11/2006: The Scary Movie

11/09/2006: KARI LIZER, TOP TV PRODUCER, ACTRESS, MOM

11/03/2006: The Grapes of Wrath

11/03/2006: Halloween House Hunt

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