October 2006
The Oblivious Factor
Posted in: Blog, Undercover Mom on 10/31/2006
A Rude Awakening by Joanne Rendell
These ?cut-outs,? as they are known in the trade, are the price we pay for living in a NY loft with one ? admittedly very large ? window. In order to get a little natural light into our cavernous back bedroom, the cut-outs are essential.
However, what they do for light, the cut-outs also do for sound. All those big holes mean that every breath, every sneeze, every dropped coffee cup (and the whispered ?F**k? that follows), can be heard through the entire household. This, as you can imagine, is not ideal when you have a three-year old in the house. Especially when that three year old?s sleep is the lifeline of his laptop-naptime mama and her writing career.
I?ve learnt to live with the cut-outs, however. When Benny is napping (or sleeping late in the morning) and I am trying to write, I do everything to minimize noise traversing the cut-outs. The answer machine is set on low, the speakers on my laptop off, and the window closed so the wails of passing fire trucks are just a mute ?wah-wahs.? Many a time, I have found myself making important phone calls sitting on the toilet (thankfully, our bathroom has proper walls) and, on one or two occasions, I have conducted meetings in the hallway outside the apartment.
But, something happened today which has made me realize that my noise reducing schemes might have been a little over-the-top. In fact, it revealed them to be completely bloody unnecessary.
The fire alarm went off at six o?clock this morning. Our apartment is in a student dorm so, as Brad and I woke up, squinting our groggy eyes under the alarm?s strobe light and holding our ears against the monotonous, deafening din, we assumed the alarm must have been set off by some partying freshmen. However, through the alarm?s wails, we heard the fire trucks arriving and realized the horrible truth: we were going to drag ourselves out of bed, clamber four flights downstairs, and go stand outside with three hundred pajama-ed students.
As we contemplated this and zipped around finding coats, shoes, hats, and mittens, we finally noticed that Benny ? despite the howling alarm and strobing lights ? hadn?t moved a muscle. He was deeply and soundly and peacefully asleep. It was only when I heaved him into my arms that his long eyelashes finally fluttered open and he said, confused by all the commotion, ?What?sat??
There was no fire, thankfully. And, in the end, lugging ourselves and a tired three year old outside wasn?t so bad. Benny got to see four truckloads of firefighters and, in the back of a warm minivan, we got to hang out with all the other people in the building who have kids.
And, let?s face it, I?m now a wiser laptop-naptime mama. From now on, when Benny?s sleeping, if I want to talk on the phone or listen to banging rap music or blend smoothies or shout ?SH*T? when I accidentally delete an important sentence, I can go right ahead and do it.
For more of Joanne Rendell's mommy blogs - including "Fishing for Poo," "Should Mommy's Wear Thongs?" and "What's that dangly thing between his legs?" then Click Here to visit her at the popular website, Get Crafty. To return to the Role Mommy home page, Click Here.
Posted in: Blog, Laptop Naptime Mama on 10/31/2006
DIVALYSSCIOUS MOMS FOUNDER LYSS STERN

Manhattan mom Lyss Stern is passionate about two things - her family and her committment to bringing out the inner diva of today's busy moms. Lyss is founder and CEO of Divalysscious Moms, a company that produces high-end events for moms and their families in New York City. From FAO Schwartz to Dylan's Candy Bar to Bloomingdales to Madison Avenue, Lyss is always on the lookout for innovative ways to help moms find rejuvenation while entertaining their kids in the process.
Posted in: Blog, Moms of Reinvention on 10/28/2006
SNACKING ON THE RUN...WITH NUTRITIONIST KERI GLASSMAN
Posted in: Blog, Role Mommy Recommends on 10/25/2006
SHOPPING ON THE FLY
Posted in: Blog, Role Mommy Confessions on 10/24/2006
CAN I GO BACK INSIDE?
Posted in: Blog, Kiddy Commentary on 10/24/2006
KERI GLASSMAN

After initially working for a successful online nutrition company, Keri decided to strike out on her own and open a private practice. As she built up her client base, Keri realized that the most difficult part to watching your weight was having the right snack choices. While there were tons of nutritional bars on the market to carb cravings, Keri says she never came across a snack bar that she truly loved. And so, she took matters into her own hands.
With the help of her sister-in-law, who opened up her kitchen and flexed her baking muscles, Keri created the KeriBar - the ultimate snack that not only tasted great, but helped promote weight loss in conjunction with a healthy diet. As her bars began tantalizing the tastebuds of her clients, this enterprising entrepreneur set out on a course to transform her creation into a nationwide success.
While her sister-in-law did a valiant job whipping up the first batch of KeriBars, Keri moved into the next phase of her business by working with a food scientist who tweaked the recipe and created more flavors to broaden the selection - providing the bars with nutrients that help keep you full so you can make better eating decisions at your next meal. With three delicious KeriBars, she was ready to sell her snack bar to consumers. Keri then partnered with her brother, who runs a major New York based marketing company that developed the website for KeriBar, logos and packaging, and together, they hit the ground running.
Since February 2006, over 200,000 KeriBars have been sold in a host of stores including Mrs. Greens, Bed Bath & Beyond, Liz Lange, Energy Kitchen, Exhale, major airports and several health food stores throughout New York. And, after taking part in her first trade show, Keri recently partnered with a distributor that will be taking KeriBar nationwide. Plus, in the next two months, there will be a new delicious product available especially for families - KeriBar for kids!
As if a snack bar company and her private practice weren't enough, in Spring 2007, Crown Books will be releasing Keri's first book, The Snack Factor Diet - which offers Keri's tried and true advice on how snacks can help promote weight loss. Plus, Keri is frequently called upon by major media outlets to offer advice on healthy eating habits for families.
In the meantime, Keri, who continues to oversee a thriving nutrition practice, is the mom of two beautiful children, ages three and a half and seven weeks old! While these days, she oftentimes finds herself responding to emails while nursing daughter Maizy and entertaining her son Rex, she says that she's having the time of her life pursuing her passion while being a mom. For Keri Glassman, great health and happiness is truly a family affair.
To find out more about KeriBars, Click Here or visit KKG Body Fuel for more information or for private nutritional counseling.
Posted in: Blog, Moms of Reinvention on 10/22/2006
CHRISTIE MELLOR

Even more inspiring was the way Christie managed to land a publishing deal without the help of an agent. Christie says after sending her manuscript to a friend who worked at Chronicle Books, he offered to put it on the desk of one of the editors there. As fate and good taste would have it, the editor instantly took a liking to Christie's writing and offered her a book deal. From there, THE THREE-MARTINI PLAYDATE was born and Christie, became a first-time author. Following the success of the book, Christie decided to pitch a few ideas that showcased her talents as an illustrator, but unfortunately, they weren't received as strongly as her first. And so, she set out on a search for the perfect literary agent who would share her passion for both writing and illustration - incidentally, Christie illustrates all of her books.
After several meetings, Christie finally did find an amazing agent who not only sewed up a second book deal with Chronicle for Christie's sequel to The Three-Martini Playdate, aptly titled, Three-Martini Vacation, but she also sold her two additional book pitches - one a non-fiction guide for twentysomethings and another, an illustrated book for adults, to powerhouse publishing house Harper Collins.
If you thought becoming a best-selling author and mom were enough to keep things interesting for Christie, well think again. Before she began typing away on her first manuscript, Christie pursued a career as an actress. Today, she can be seen in dozens of commercials and heard on the airwaves through her voiceover work. Christie says her roles these days are not much of a stretch - she usually plays the foolish mom who bought a really bad cleaning product; the ticket taker in an American Airlines commercial; or the memorable role of a mom driving a minivan - hmmm...I think we can all relate to that one!
In her down time...as if she has any - Christie is mom to two sons, ages 14 and 9, who obviously have provided her with plenty of fodder for her entertaining books. THREE-MARTINI VACATION will be released by Chronicle Books in Spring 2007. In the meantime, if you haven't read The Three-Martini Playdate yet, then CLICK HERE so you can make a purchase you'll be raving about for years to come! To find out more about Christie Mellor, visit her website at www.christiemellor.com
Posted in: Blog, Moms of Reinvention on 10/18/2006
YouTube, Herbal Tea, and a Whole Lot of Procrastination
11:30 am - I've done it.
I am now officially a "suck-it-up-and-pay-for-a-babystitter-and-take-my-laptop-to-a-coffee-shop? mama. With some writing deadlines looming, I decided that naptimes were just not enough anymore. Plus, trying to put Benny down for a nap three hours after he?d just got up ? so I could finish a chapter or work on a book review ? did seem a little cruel.
So far, my new mama-status is proving to be pretty damn fun. Just half an hour ago, I left Benny with lovely Emily the babysitter who not only wears the coolest vintage outfits, but who also brought along a ?My Little Pony? special edition DVD boxset. Spying the shimmering rainbows and pale pink and green ponies on the cover, Benny took Emily?s hand and practically booted me out the door. Gone are the days when he would wail like an abandoned pup if I so much as disappeared behind a doorframe.
So now I?m happily ensconced at the coffee shop in a nearby bookstore. Okay, so I could have got here a little earlier but en route I had to swing through Brooklyn Industries (my favorite store) and paw over, try on, and contemplate buying a number of their new hoodies. I managed to drag myself away without opening my wallet, however, and now here I am, raring to go. My laptop is open and glowing, happy to be out of the house again. I?m stretching my back, limbering my fingers, and the sweet coffee shop aroma is firing my writing neurons. I have a delicious, Benny-free, two hours stretching before me.
Okay, so here I go?.Oooh, wait a minute, here comes the waiter guy. And fancy that? He?s wearing the same ?This is What a Feminist Looks Like? t-shirt which I just bought for Benny?
11.51 am ? What a nice guy. Not only does he have that great t-shirt, he was also kind enough to explain all the different kinds of tea options on the menu and even brought me a taster of the Rooibos Lemon Chiffon tea. Of course, I didn?t like it and had to explain to him that, even though I like the sound of all these herbal teas with their pretty triple-barreled names, I?m just too British to actually like them. ?Black tea with lots of caffeine and a dash of milk ? it?s the only way,? I explained. This, of course, started a long discussion about my mother country and it turns out the waiter?s aunt lives in London and feels the exact same way about tea. ?Herbal Schmerbal, she calls it,? he told me with a laugh.
But now my lovely waiter is off tending to someone else. So, after taking a long sip of my black tea, I place my fingertips on the keypad and?. Well, look at that?! I just caught a glimpse of a sign which says this coffee shop has WiFi. I didn?t know that. Okay, so I know the whole point of coming here was to have an intensive writing session where I couldn?t check my emails and watch ridiculous videos on YouTube whenever I get stuck on a word or a sentence. But, I suppose I could just see if the connection works?.
12.34 pm ? Hmmm. I didn?t mean to spend all that time online. But my friend sent me that interesting Salon article about Hillary Clinton and then I had to check a couple of my favorite blogs. Oh, and I just had to google that old school friend who I had a really weird dream about last night. I didn?t find her, but I did find this crazy site for people buying and selling horses. You should see the little videos they make to advertise their animals. Billowing manes, ponies in bows, cantoring in the sunset. It?s like horsie porn.
Enough, enough. I only have an hour left. I need to concentrate. And I really will concentrate just as soon as I get back from the bathroom?
1.10 pm ? They must have done that on purpose. Placing the bathroom on the other side of the store, so you have to pass by every best seller table and interesting New York fiction stand, before you get there. I couldn?t help stopping and browsing. I mean, how often do I get to be in a bookstore without a three year old pleading for ?The Little Engine that Could? at the top of his lungs? And, you know what? Perhaps I shouldn?t feel bad. Looking at new books is research, after all. Especially for a serious, dedicated writer like myself. You have to know what?s on the market, who?s publishing what, who thanking who in their acknowledgments. It?s a vital part of the job.
I?ve got twenty minutes left. If I get my head down, maybe I can churn out a couple of hundred words?.ah, but is that my stomach grumbling?
1.30 pm. Time to go. I have written a grand total of 10 words. This means, at ten bucks an hour for 2.5 hours babysitting, I?ve paid $2.50 for each word I?ve written. Seems kind of pricey to me. I?m going to be penniless by the time I finish my 100,000 word novel.
Oh well, that toasted bagel with lashings of cream cheese tasted so good, perhaps it was all worth it. And next time, I promise I will be different. I will be writing powerhouse. Not a t-shirt, tea, or toasted bagel will distract me.
Perhaps?
Posted in: Blog, Laptop Naptime Mama on 10/17/2006
THE FACTORY
Posted in: Blog, Kiddy Commentary on 10/16/2006
Older Entries
10/13/2006: CROTCH CONUNDRUM
10/12/2006: PANDEMONIUM AT THE PEDIATRICIAN
10/10/2006: ARIANNA HUFFINGTON
10/06/2006: SAVE THE DATE!!! NOVEMBER 16TH AT CMOM
10/06/2006: BE KIND...REWIND!
10/04/2006: THE LINE
10/04/2006: Bitchfest...Review by Joanne Rendell
10/02/2006: The Dishwasher
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